What You Will Learn
The feelings that surface at the end of a relationship can border on intolerable.
- The confusion and the chaos are overwhelming
- The feelings of loss and anger are consuming
- The kids are afraid, you're afraid
Where do you start to rebuild your life?
Following is a brief overview of each of the topics presented through the ten week period.
Rebuilding Program Session Topics
Session One: The Rebuilding Blocks
If it didn’t matter, it wouldn’t hurt. But it does matter. You may come into this session feeling lonely, hurt, afraid, angry or a combination of all of them. These are normal feelings of divorce, and you will soon learn that you are not alone. In this session you will hear an overview of the class and how each of the building blocks contribute to your healing and growth. As the evening progresses you will get to know some of the other participants as well as the volunteer staff and the facilitator who will be with you on your journey. This is a very gentle night of connecting with others who hurt in the same ways that you do.
Session Two: Adaptation
As children we learn many adaptive behaviors — both good and not so good. They help us survive and manage our young worlds. As adults we bring these adaptive behaviors into our relationships with mixed results. On this night we will explore some of those behaviors and begin to explore what is appropriate now. You will be directed as to where and how to take the Fisher Divorce Adjustment Test, and also begin connecting with other class participants for support and encouragement.
Session Three: Grief
Saying goodbye is difficult. On this night you will explore various losses that come along with the end of an important relationship. Grieving your losses is the single most effective thing you can do to move forward. You will participate in a powerful exercise that will help you let go and move on. Grief night is considered by many to be the most difficult but also the most powerful night of the class.
Session Four: Anger
Anger and grief are two sides of the same coin. If you’ve had difficult accessing your feelings of loss, perhaps it is because you have unacknowledged, unexpressed, or unknown anger. Learn the difference between good and bad anger, and ways to deal with your anger in positive and non-destructive ways.
Session Five: Transition
This is the mid-way point through the class. By this night’s class you’ve done a lot of the personal work to let go and are ready to begin designing the new you. This class looks at the developmental stages we go through on our way toward becoming an adult — the shell stage, the rebel stage and the love/self acceptance stage. You will take a look at your different relationships — parents, siblings, work, love, and the poignant times you’ve spent in each stage and how those stages have influenced your choices.
Session Six: Openness
This week we take a look at the masks you wear to hide your authentic self from others. These masks are often carefully chosen. There are both internal masks, and external masks, and at first glance they seem necessary, the problem is that these masks ultimately shield you from the very love you desire. This is a night to take a look at what you don’t know that you don’t know about yourself that may be keeping you stuck. Learn to take off masks that are keeping you from connecting with others.
Session Seven: Self-Worth
Tonight provides a unique opportunity to both give and receive compliments with fellow classmates. This is a night of big change as your fellow classmates, who have by now become friends, speak from the heart about who they know you to be and what they appreciate about you. The end of your relationship may have damaged your self-worth, but there’s still a lot of love out there, you will experience a good bit of it this night.
Session Eight: Uncovering Love
The love you have to give others is directly proportional to the love you give yourself. Self-love is not selfish, it is vital to your well-being. It is one of the best things you can do for yourself. This night explores the characteristics and behaviors we look for in a love partner and the importance of finding those characteristics inside ourselves first. You will learn to love yourself at a core level despite behaving in ways that you don’t understand or are ashamed of.
Read one participant's definition of Romantic Love after 8 weeks in the Rebuilding Seminar.
Session Nine: Relatedness and Sexuality
You’ve learned a lot in 8 short weeks. Perhaps you are beginning to think of dating again. Dating can provide a place to practice the new ways of relating that you have been learning. The thought of being in a sexual relationship again might be downright frightening. This class gives you an opportunity to explore dating and sexuality from a renewed perspective. The unique format of a male/female panel discussion provides opportunity to ask important questions and explore your values around sexual responsibility. You will also be instructed to take the Fisher Divorce Assessment for the final time so you will be able to see how far you’ve come in growth and recovery.
Session Ten: Purpose and Freedom
Take a glimpse from the top of the Rebuilding Mountain. You've just completed one heck of a journey. Who are you today? Many people at this point in the class are experiencing true freedom for the first time in their lives. What does real freedom look like? This night closes with a special ceremony to honor all the hard work you’ve done, and the person you have become.
